08/6/14

The Day that Robert Newhouse Died by C.K.Baker

The news today this twenty-fifth day of July, Twenty Fourteen.

“Man”ing up in Texas

Geldof overdose

Needles at the bed stand

Starlet comatose.

California dreaming

Killer meets demise

Hurling in a taxi

Puke fee on the rise.

Fighting in the Gaza

Jordan’s Holy war

Rebels on a mission

Jihad underscore.

The North Korean riddle

Pales in grand design

Crisis on the border

Planes fall from the sky.

Cooking on a deadline

Tempting tapenades

Herbs are in the spotlight

Wines that give a nod.

Brewers fill the beast

With pork a starring role

50 shades of gray

A freckle and a mole.

Google maps the body

DOW at record highs

Uber hits the market

Corn is on the rise.

Apple on its earnings

Caterpillar dead

European sanctions

Banks have shit the bed.

Clippers threaten boycott

Longhorns follow purge

Lynch is out of training camp

James is on the verge.

Leinarts taking pot shots

Coughing up a lung

Lions take a licking

Fans are throwing dung.

Another day in Vegas

Primm from A-Z

Rolling out an ankle

A flying SUV.

Quiet tempting spaces

Made better by design

Multicolor pea coat

Silence fuels the mind.

Stabbing in the subway

Goat caught in a well

Apes are selling tickets

(but leave behind a smell).

Puberty on trial

A man without a head

Teachers feel alone

(Take them to the shed!).

Jonah’s tomb destroyed

Wreckage in Mumbai

“Sugar Daddy” sites

Freedom 85.

The immigrant debate

Russia’s mounting toll

Unions on a mission

“heads are gonna roll”.

Beaches for the nudist

Hotels are on the cheap

The best generic brands

A list you HAVE to keep.

Planning your estate

Questions from the camp

A mansion up for sale

Where once they filmed “The Champ”.

Midwives threaten action

Aboriginal act

Truckers want a “push”

That train has left the track.

Sharks are found in Fundy

A prized but perilous catch

Food we love to hate the most

An irrefutable batch.

A family on the brink

“I want my kids to fail!”

Politicians drains all hope

A ban on Israel!

Follow out each headline

Let media be your guide

All these things did happen

the day that Newhouse died.